I remember reading once that life – and goal setting – is like laying bricks. Whether you want to build a cottage or a cathedral you have to put down just one brick at a time. There are no short-cuts, it just has to be done. Eventually you’ll build what you’re trying to build.
One of the dangers with this, of course, is that you can both lose sight of the bigger picture for focussing on the small things, and also get overwhelmed with how long the journey seems to be taking; how long you’re going to have to do what you’re doing in order to get there.
Recently I think I’ve been having a problem with the latter issue and have been focussing on the wrong things. I’ve talked about how I let things go around Christmas and fell into bad habits, and I link that often in my mind with the fact that I haven’t really lost any weight since this time last year. So in the last month or so, I’ve been thinking a lot about how can I lose the weight – should I be counting calories, paying more attention to portion size, fitting in a few more workouts etc… I’ve been so focussed on what can I do to lose the weight now that I’ve not really been thinking about it in a long-term sustainable way.
There’s really no correlation between this picture and this post
Surprise! I’m still alive!
So, that went well.
Despite the fact that several of the last couple of posts published on this blog discuss re-starts and a need for increased consistency in posting, you may have noticed that I’ve failed spectacularly in doing just that. Whilst I did indeed have several very good weeks following on from my last post in regards to improving my diet, exercise, sleep schedule etc… I quickly fell into the same problem that so many people have with the end of the year, when I let December and the Christmas holidays completely derail my progress.
October. Fall. It’s the start of the dying of the year, when it gets colder and darker and everything draws to an end. It is also, I have decided, a time to appreciate fresh starts – although I realise we’re currently heading into the latter part of the month. Plants are dying and turning to mulch so that new plants can grow in their place next year. Leaves fall from the trees so that those trees can survive the winter and then continue to grow, fresh and anew in the spring.
So whilst some people are starting to hunker down for the winter, their summer plans and fitness routines and optimism for the year starting to fade, I’ve decided to use the start of the season as a fresh start for myself.
This is not the post I thought I’d be writing today. I’ve got two entries that I’m currently working on in my drafts all about moving forwards and what I want to get done over the next few weeks, but for some reason I decided today to look back.
A few years ago I started writing ‘morning pages’. If you’ve never heard of them, they’re basically stream-of-consciousness pages of writing that you’re supposed to do first thing in the morning. Apparently it helps with your creativity. You can write about absolutely anything, but they often tended to be quite diary-ish on my part.
It just so happened that the notebook I picked up today contained entries from 2.5-3 years ago, when I was in my final year at university. I want to share two of those entries with you, and I then I’ll talk about them afterwards. It’s a little long, but I would ask you to please, keep going.
Sitting here on this sunny Sunday afternoon, salted caramel brownie (one of Batch Bakery’s) and coffee (from Aroamaah!) at hand, this is the best time I’m going to have to get back into the swing of this. It has not escaped my notice that just under two months ago I talked about the need to write and post more regularly, then wrote just one more blog post and vanished from the face of the earth (or at least here and most of my social media) for an embarrassingly long time.
I don’t have reasons, I have excuses. They’re not particularly good ones: I got really busy in the couple of weeks before I went on holiday, and then I was really busy during my holiday and afterwards I was stuck getting back into the swing of things and trying to find a routine and my sister came to stay and it was a heatwave and I went on day trips with friends and….
None of these are good reasons to just stop writing. But I found myself getting into a bit of a funk, for lack of a better word. I had a wonderful time throughout most of the things I was doing, but there was lots of the day-to-day that was up in the air. So for the last 6-8 weeks I’ve been eating less healthily than I would like, not doing regular exercise, my sleep schedule has been all over the place and I have had no routine to speak of.